This could be a definite case of "Here, ye'v taken that too far !", and folk have been asking me why the socks didn't try the short 'whistle test' version of the track, but that would have been too easy / sensible -anyhoo : THE FOOT HEALER (with apologies in advance)
If your feet are feeling bad,
Got fallen arches like yer Dad,
If you suffer bunion pain,
Or if your ankle has a sprain,
There is a man, his name is Ted,
Got a foot clinic in his shed,
Kick off your shoes, let your feet breathe,
Ted's got the answers up his sleeve.
The Foot Healer, The Foot Healer.
He will give your feet a feel,
And in a while they'll start to heal,
Toenail clips and hole-y socks,
Blisters caused by your flip-flops,
It don't matter what chiropodists say,
He'll pumice your corns away,
Cheap podiatry for two,
Foot miracles can come to you.
The Foot Healer, The Foot Healer.
Have you tried a wider shoe?
Have you tried a wider - shoe?
Doctor Martens, Hush Puppy,
Simple home chiropody,
He can help to make you stand,
Back on your feet, He'll lend a hand,
Remember when somebody said,
"Ask the man", so go see Ted,
Pumice stone and foam insole,
Verruca cream by Doctor Scholl.
The Foot Healer, The Foot Healer,
Have you tried a wider shoe?
Have you tried a wider shoe?
There is something you can do,
Soak your feet in Irn Bru !
The Foot Healer, The Foot Healer, The Foot Healer.
d:oL - I can hear the lawyers sharpening their pencils...