Post by Catherine on Oct 23, 2010 20:31:44 GMT
Sorry the pics didn't make it through the ether - but this is the kinda thing that SAHBstock I inspired - here's hoping for another rattling tale after III
Ye wanna hear the real aftermath story?
Picture the scene, its near the witching hour, theres a dodgy bunch 'o' characters hanging around a disreputable tavern in a bad part 'o' the hot city,
The Cast
Captain Caveman- The hero of the hour, a kind , decent chap with huge genitalia, need i say more
Helen- a modern day Mata Hari, Captain Caveman's weakness, his Lois Lane , if you will
Swapsnake and Andy- a couple of beautiful people, but don't be decieved, Sue once pulled Peter Smiekels knob off!!!!!!!!!!!
Maxamillion Maxwell - a strange Machevellian character, who could be seen stroking a cat saying "I expect you to die Mr. Bond"
yet comes though to save the day
Platterpete- One of The Good Guys
Huntvambo- The same , unless you bid against him on Ebay, then he is utterly ruthless
Mike Drew - A man of great talents, but shows no mercy
Craigie Dee - A fellow super hero, a cross between Spider man and Mr Bean
As we left the tavern, Helen turned to Captain Caveman and said " I can resist your charms no longer CC, take me away from here and make me yours forevever!!!"
Captain Cavemans heart swelled in his chest, these were the words he'd waited to hear, he opened the door to his Ferrari , he held the beautiful Helens hand as she entered, they're eyes locked, sparks of passion flashed between them.
CC started the Ferrari, and set off, he looked at the beautiful lady next to him, he could not believe she was his, they sped through the night, no words were needed, their hands occasionaly touched as CC changed gear, sending sparks of electricity through both of them.
As they sped through the streets of the Hot City, they were lost in each other, the beautiful Helen could not believe she could want a man more than she wanted CC, as she watched him drive his Ferrari as well as a professional racing driver, she thought if he does everything as well as this.................
things were not to be, as they sped through the city, the Hot City cops chased them there were sirens, blue lights, the crack of gunshots split the night, CC floored the Ferrari and sped off, more cops joined the chase, CC turned to Helen and said "This could get dangerous", Helen looked at CC and said " as long as I'm with you , i'm fine"
CC grinned in the darknees and put the pedal to the metal, this was gonna work, they sped in to the night witj Hellen hanging out the window shouting " Ye'll never take us alive Copper, F*ck You!!!"
More cops joined the chase, bullets slammed into the back of the Ferrari, CC turned to Helen and said " I've always said as long as I've got a face you've got a place to sit, but you're too beautiful to get shot, phone the Maxx, he'll get you to safety",
Helen choked back the tears, the love of her life was willing to lay down his life to save her, she got the Maxx on the phone and told him the situation, The Maxx said " Tell CC to pull a Crazy Ivan, like we did in Bogota in 83'! ", through the tears Helen passed the message to CC, CC grinned and said " hang on to your hat this is gonna get a little scary!!"
At that CC downshifted and spun the Ferrari, and headed straight back at the Hot City Cops, they scattered and CC turned to Helen and said " Sorry Sweetcheeks, but i need to get you safe and lead these arseholes away from you" Helen realised at this point she would be CC's woman forever, they sped down a dimly lit side street, CC braked and stopped , The Maxx stepped from the shadows, his associates Craigie Dee and Mike Drew keeping watch for the Hot City Pigs, He opened the door , And said " there's not a second to lose Helen , come with us, you'll be safe" Helen turned to CC with tears in her eyes " will I see you again?", CC leaned over their lips brushed briefly, " Wild Horses couldn't keep me away from you" At that CC slammed the ferrari into gear and sped off, Helen and the Maxx and his henchmen slid back into the shadows as the Hot City Cops sped past in pursuit of the Caveman!!
................. CC sped through the night, he could concentrate on losing the Hot City Cops, now that he knew the lovely Helen and the secrets she carried, were safe with The Maxx, the leader of the Vambo Liberation Front in the Hot City, CC knew the Maxx never put a foot wrong, Helen was safe...............
..............But he was having problems, a stray cops bullet had done some damage to his beloved Ferrari, he knew he needed help and he knew who would help him, The 3 Ladies, for those who didn't know them, the 3 Ladies were Lady Catherine the Exiled Lady Mayoress of Vibrania, Lady Penelope the leader of the welsh VLF, and Lady Rachel the Consort of the exiled Crown Prince of Vibrania
...........CC had seen them earlier at the secret Sahbstock gig, Lady Catherine wearing a Scarlet floor length gown with a provocative slit up to her thigh and her foot long ebony cigarette holder , then Lady Penelope a curvaceous raven haired Welsh beauty resplendent in Jet Black from head to toe, with her cane, Lady P. had been shot in the Rock Drill wars saving VLF members and used a cane ever since, then the beautiful Lady Rachel, an alabaster skinned with jet Black hair, all beautiful , but utterly ruthless, CC thanked his lucky stars they were on his side...............
...........he phoned "Lady C, i need your help, i got Hot City's finest hunting me down", Catherine asked where he was, CC told her, she Said " head West towards Goudie Towers, we'll do the rest!"
............. CC headed West, feeling better, he was getting help from the best.................
........Meanwhile, in Goudie Towers, "CC's on his way here girls, and he's got heat, we need to help him".............
...........CC drove through the night with the HOT City Cops in hot pursuit, they stayed back since he'd pulled the "Crazy Ivan" a few streets back, he hoped the Ferrari would hold out till the Ladies could get to him...........
..........Lady Penelope lifted her cane, and pressed a small button under the handle, she reached into her bag and brought out a a steel cylinder, Click, Click, and all of a sudden the cane had become a long range snipers rifle, and in Penny's hands a lethal weapon, she hefted the rifle onto her shoulder and looked through the telescopic sight...............
................in a safe house, somewhere in the Hot City in a dark room, Helen turns to The Maxx and asks " how far do you and CC go back?", Max looks at her for an absurdly long time and says " we didn't know each other as such, we knew of each other", Max looked down and said " Craigie Dee is probably the man to ask, but he never talks about the Rock Drill Wars", Max shook his head, and paused, "it was a hard time for all the Sahbsters back then, some guys and gals saw a lot of action".............
.............Max paused, " all who wanted a better world, like ALEX had talked about, tried their hardest to make it happen, but the forces of Mediocrity took over, it was a scary time, we all lost a lot of friends back then, CC was with Jungle Jenny back then, i never thought he'd look at another woman, then he met you"..........
............Helen looked at Max, she was aware of the reasuring presence of Mike Drew and Craigie Dee watching at the windows, both with hands beneath their jackets , no doubt resting on the butts of their silenced automatic pistols, she turned to Max and asked "what happened to her?", Max hesitated, " the story goes that they went on patrol, and were ambushed by the Mediocres, CC came back with Jungle Jenny seriously wounded, she died soon after, CC never spoke about it again, that's all we know"............
.............Helen bit her lip, and wondered was he safe, she was worried that she might never know if the rumours about CC's humoungous genitals were true, she just had to find out for herself, she prayed he'd get to safety...........
..............CC headed towards Goudie Towers, his Ferrari was misfiring , he knew he did not have long, he phoned Catherine, " whatever you've got i need now", Catherine laughed " relax, Penny's got it covered".............
...........Penny looked through her telescopic sight, she zeroed in on the bonnet of the first Cop car, she gently carressed the trigger........
..................KABOOM!!.........the bonnet of the Cop Car flipped over the windscreen, it veered to the right, its driver unable to see or steer properly due to his engine being on fire as well, he veered into the path of another Cop Car, who swerved to avoid him and drove into another , both cars slid into the barriers, 3 down , 3 to go, his phone was still on, he said " Catherine, tell Penny thank you, thats evened up the odds a bit !" Catherine said "tell her yourself, I'll patch you through"........
............... CC heard the beautiful Welsh accent in his earpiece, " three down three to go CC, wanna help me get the others?"
CC laughed in spite of the danger, "you're the boss, Lady P, just tell me what you need" although his Ferrari was failing fast they were still travelling about 110 mph, this was gonna be close.............
............Penny sighted down her rifle and selected rapid fire, "ok CC when i tell you, start to slow down, then slide over to the right, ok" CC answered " whatever you say, just tell me when.".....
.............."now" CC flicked to the right, the Cops thought they had him and sped up, Penny opened fire, the first two Cop Cars bonnets desintigrated under the hail of fire, their engines dragging on the ground showering the night with sparks, the last Cop Car stopped and started to reverse, Penny put a shot through his radiator just to discourage him.........
.........CC drove on, knowing he was safe for now thanks to Catherine and Penny, he was so happy they were on his side, he wouldn't want it any other way, he wondered should he offer them a "large portion of" as a thank you, but thought perhaps not, it wouldn't be fair to Helen.........................
.................CC's Ferrari coasted to a halt outside Goudie Towers, it wasn't going any further, he made a mental note that the Hot City Cops would paY for that, as he exited the car, Lady C. stepped forward out of the shadows, she had changed out of her scarlet gown into a skin tight leather catsuit, she laughed "looks like you could do with a lift?".............
...........CC thought to himself seeing Lady C. in a leather catsuit had given him a bit of a lift, but , he knew this was not the time or the place to think like that, at that point he noticed Rachel in the shadows with a submachine gun, checking out all approaches , she glanced at CC and winked........
..............Catherine stopped and placed her finger to her ear, CC noticed the mini transciever in her ear, Catherine said "Penny says we've got more company coming, she's gonna discourage them" CC could hear the shots ringing out from the top of the building, he was glad he wasn't a Hot City Cop, coz Penny never missed.............
................Catherine turned to Rachel, "keep watch" and turned to CC and said "c'mon you can help!", CC followed Catherine into the parking bay of the building, there were two black motorcycles waiting, Catherine said "help me wheel these out!"...........
.............As they wheeled the bikes out, a black rope landed between them, they looked up to see Lady P. abseiling down, as she unclipped herself, she said "we've got way more company than i can deal with, we gotta go!".........
..........Penny mouted one bike, and Catherine the other, Rachel jumped on behind Penny, CC sat behind Catherine, she said " hang on tight, this is gonna be hairy!"............
............CC hung on, Catherine turned and said " when i said hang on , i didn't mean to them!!" CC held on a bit lower and said "oops sorry".........
..............meanwhile in the safe house, The Maxx turned to Helen and said "we need to get moving, we think its you the Cops are looking for", Catherine's just phoned, "CC's with her, Penny and Rachel, and there all ok ....so far"...................
..........Helen turned and asked "why do you think they want me?", Maxx shrugged and said " i can only assume that the authorities think you have knowledge that is a threat to them, i dunno, but when we get where we're going we might just find out".........
............Helen was a scientist, and knew that her lab handled sensitive material, but she didn't think anything she was working on could be seen as a threat.........
............Maxx stood up, "Right, its time to go, Craigie Dee you're on point, Mike watch our backs, down to the basement we're going by the old underground railway".............
they went down to the basement , it was dull and dusty, with piles of rubbish lying around, Maxx walked over to the wall, and touched what looked like 3 dirty marks on the wall, a door opened silently in the wall, Craigie Dee said "wait here, I'll go check its clear", after a couple of quiet minutes Craigie Dee came back through the door "we're good to go" and turned and led the way............
..........Helen and Maxx followed and Mike Drew pulled a lever in the passage wall that closed the door silently behind them, it wasn't totally dark, Helen could see a film of dust on the floor, no-one had been here for a long time, they started to walk.......
..........Helen felt better since she knew her man was safe , but was wondering just how this was going to end, she tapped Maxx on the shoulder "Maxx , just exactly where are we going?" Maxx chuckled "Oh didn't i tell you, were heading to Buffs Bar".......
.............the two motorcycles thundered through the night, the noise of their passing reverberated off the buildings they passed, CC thought to himself that this was shaping up to be a remarkably memorable day, so far an absloutely beautiful lady scientist had fallen for him, and he had unwittingly had held the Lady Mayoress Mammaries, this was definately a great day, apart from the Hot City's finest trying to kill all of them , it was a case of so far so good..............
..........CC leaned forward and shouted to Catherine "whats at Buffs Bar?", CC had heard of the place in song, but didn't realise it actually existed, Catherine shouted back "there's people there that can help us".............
............CC leaned forward to ask Catherine what people?, as he did he felt something tug at his shoulder, he looked back there were three motorbikes following them, all with guys on the back firing at them, CC nudged Catherine "we've got company", he looked over to Penny's bike in time to see Rachel perform a rather complicated gymnastic move which left her facing backwards on the bike, she smiled across, and unslung her submachine gun and started firing in controlled bursts at their pursuers................
..........CC looked back, there was only one bike now and two fires in the distance, he made a mental note, don't mess with Rachel, there was still one bike behind them, CC loked across at Rachel, she held up her gun and mouthed "I'm out"............
..........bullets flew round them, Catherine shouted to CC, "shoot the bugger!!", CC shouted back" I don't have a gun!", Catherine shouted " theres one behind you in the pannier!", CC reahed down behind the pannier and pulled out a .45 Caliber Automatic, he thought "now we're talking", he jacked the slide of the pistol and looked back at the following bike, and sighted down the pistol, he fired four shots in succesion, the rider and the passenger of the bike behind them flew backwards off the bike as the bike exploded, CC pushed the pistol into his belt and leaned back into Catherine, she shouted back "are they gone?", CC leaned forward and said "Yep!, and the last two got a technicolour funeral!"..............
............the two motorcycles thundered through the night, the part of town they were passing through was becoming more and more run down, the good thing was that it was a no go area after dark for the Hot City Cops, they turned down a dark street, the lights of Buff's Bar dimly lit the street, a figure opened a graffiti covered corrugated iron gate next to the bar, it was Platterpete, he waved them into the alley next to the bar, they stopped the bikes and got off, Catherine turned to CC and asked " where's your gun, and if you didn't have one what was that digging into my ba............oh" Catherine blushed in the darkness, CC turned and said " I sent my gun to be cleaned this weekend, timing is everything", they turned to see Platterpete whose face was badly bruised, Penny asked "what happened to you?" Platterpete shrugged " Hot City's finest are rousting everyone who was at Sahbstock, i had a run in with them" , Platterpete was a quiet chap, but was a major member of the VLF, CC wondered how the cops had fared, as it was kinda telling that Platterpete was here and not getting the third degree downtown, they followed Platterpete into Buff's Bar......
..............CC's eyes adjusted to the gloom, he looked round and saw a lot of familiar faces, the VLF crack squad were there, Chad the Lad, K9 Kev, Miss Mayhem, there were some others there as well, Sue and Andy, Sgt.Fury, Huntvambo, Jamnah and Hannah, Amos, Isobel,Zenmetal.........
............CC turned to Catherine and asked "who owns this place?"
........a deep voice behind him said "I do, and yer first one is on the house" CC turned to see a man behind the bar with a huge cigar in his hand, Catherine said " CC meet Big Hoggy, him and the Tomohawk Kid own this place" Cc was stunned, he knew of these guys, they were legends, it was said that they were the only ones who knew where Vambo went, some said they had actually seen and met Alex himself, he knew that back in the day Big Hoggy spread the word of Vambo far and wide, he was the unnoficial High Priest of Sahbsters everywhere, CC realised it was him in disguise he had seen on stage earlier spraying VAMBO ROOLS to great applause, CC wondered if it was him that had sprayed TONGS YA BASS in the toilets..................
...........CC turned to see the Tomohawk Kid come in, this was the Archive Master of all things SAHB, if you wanted to know anything about the SAHB legends and VLF history this was the man that knew, if the Hot City Cops knew that these two were here, they'd rip the city apart to get to them..........
.............Craigie Dee, The Maxx, Helen and Mike Drew, moved through the tunnels under the Hot City, occasionally a scurrying rat would cross their path, as they walked Helen said to Max, "tell me more about the way things were?".........
.........Max chuckled " that's easier said than done, you're too young to remember, but back in the day, SAHB were a big deal, they could fill Stadiums, and the music was good, but there was a message to it as well, the short version was, look after the planet , look after each other, nothing more than that, but the powers that be don't want to hear that, they want to hear, spend, spend, buy this , buy that, make us rich, so bands like SAHB were undermined, and the rich guys hoped they'd just fade away, and that the kids would listen to their manafactured pish, and sadly it worked, up to a point, but the fans of the great bands wouldn't buy in to the brainwashing, thats what led to the Rock Drill wars, it was more like riots in some places, but a lot of good folks got hurt, all because they wouldn't toe the party line, it was bad.............
................they walked on, Max continued "we all thought it would get better, then President Bono got elected, folks thought thing's will get better, he was a musician, well he made things worse, he made all music that wasn't mediocre illegal, he institued campaigns like Its Grand to be Bland, Beige is all the Rage, and him and his hangers on like Sting, he did deals with all the big multinational names like Nike etc, and between them all they dictated who we were to listen to, but we wouldn't lie down to it, we've fought these arseholes ever since..........
.............Craigie Dee signalled to them to be quiet, and drew his weapon, there was figure lying at the base of a rickety stairway that led to Buff's Bar, Max pushed Helen against the wall and stood in front of her, Craigie Dee came back to Max and said "its Peterbarrow, he's alive, i think he's been drugged".........
........Max and Helen came forward, Max said "lets get to the bar, and we'll see what's what", at that Craigie Dee holstered his pistol and hoisted Peterbarrow on to his shoulder, they all climbed the stairs into Buff's Bar..........
...............inside Buffs Bar, the Tomahawk Kid came over and said, "the sh*it is gonna hit the fan tonight, there are cops everywhere, even the Riot Squad's out in force, and they are heading to wards here", he continued " we've had folk we know looking into why they want Helen,and we think we know why"......
.............at that point an alarm rang behind the bar, they're were sounds of weapons being c*cked, and Big Hoggy produced a massive shotgun from below the bar, as if from nowhere the Tomahawk Kid had a tomahawk in each hand, Big Hoggy spoke "Peterbarrow was guarding the door from the Underground Railway, someone's tripped the alarm!" , he moved across to a panel in the wall and looked through a spy hole " its OK, its The Maxx " , Big Hoggy slung his shotgun over his shoulder and opened a secret door, Max, Helen, Mike Drew, and Craigie Dee carrying an unconscious Peterbarrow came through, Helen rushed to CC " i didn't think I'd see you again" CC held her in his arms and thought we really need to focus on the situation at hand, but wondered if everyone would miss him and Helen if they sloped off for a quickie!!............
...................Craigie Dee laid Peterbarrow on a couch, Big Hoggy examined him and beckoned Helen over "you're the nearest thing we've got to a Doctor Helen, would you mind checking Pete?" , Helen came over, CC thought "well ,bang goes that idea!" , Helen turned and said " as far as i can tell, he's been drugged, i think he'll just need to sleep it off" .............
............TK turned to Helen , "we think we know why the Cops are after you, remember your lab was working on substances found in food, well we sent your data to a coupla guys we know in America and Canada, Vic and Ginnie they're called, well because over there they ain't under the information restrictions that we are here, they found out that the chemical you isolated, that the Food Agency told your Lab it was a harmless preservative, well its a really clever synthetic sedative that can be used for mind control and brain-washing, and we think the folk in charge decided to get rid of you, coz they weren't sure how much you knew"............
............Helen gasped "the bast*rds, i hadn't even started looking at it, what about my colleagues?" TK looked at the floor " we've tried to find them , but they've all disappeared, sorry" Helen turned and said to CC " are you gonna help me get these people?" CC nodded and thought well there goes the quickie for sure now, coz Helen was coldly furious, no-one was gonna do this to her and her friends any more.....................
........................Big Hoggy racked his shotgun and laughed "well it looks like the arseholes are coming for us anyway, so do we fight or run?" a resounding chorus of "WE FIGHT !" reverberated round the bar, TK laughed "we've all gotta die someday, today's as good a day as any other!!", TK turned to Mike drew and said "right Mike , time for Brokenantler to do his stuff!" everyone turned and looked coz the name Brokenantler was used on the internet for spreading SAHB info, nobody knew who Brokenantler was until now, they just knew he was a computer genius who had evaded capture by Government forces for years, TK said "right Mike, start hacking and bugger up any and all Government bodies you can, at the same time , get the word out to anybody that'll listen about what's gone down, Will ye manage?" Mike grinned and cracked his knuckles, "We'll see , lets get busy!"........................
............ TK turned and looked at CD and said "your stuff's in the back room, reckon its time you came out of retirement, what about you?" Craigie Dee said nothing for a moment and then straightened up and said "Why not, i didn't have a date tonight anyway!" Craigie Dee disappeared into the back room, Helen turned to CC "what's all that about?" CC said " well, d'you remember the Silver Surfer? well Craigie Dee's the Tarnished Surfer, same powers, just not so squeaky clean!, he hung up the board a few years ago, but hey, looks like he's back!".............
......the door to the back room opened and a figure in a silver suit with a silver surfboard under his arm walked out, he looked like Craigie Dee, but somehow very different, CC looked at him and threw a casual salute, "just like old times, buddy, you ready to rock'n'roll?", CD nodded and laughed, "yeah, suit's a wee bit tighter than i remember, it must've shrunk", CC laughed with him, then turned to Big Hoggy and said " your beer is good, how's the firearm situation?"...................
....................Big Hoggy laughed and shouted "TK! the mans wondering if we've got any toys in the toybox!", TK smiled and said " Captain Caveman, we've been ready for this day for a long time, we're loaded for Bear and then some!" at that he moved to a panel in the wall and kicked the bottom of it, the panel slid aside to reveal a room stacked full of weapons and ammunition, CC looked round and whistled softly "wow, you ain't kidding, you've got everything and then some!" just then they heard the screech of tyres outside, TK shouted "Heads Up, we've got company!", the door opened and a large figure in a leather coat stepped through, he lifted his head and smiled, it was the big man himself Chris Glen, he looked round and laughed "don't shoot guys , I'm here to help, and I brought some company".........
.............the doors opened again and Ted, Hugh, Julian and Jon Morrison came in, Chris laughed "i brought reinforcements, so what's the score?" Big Hoggy said "we've got a sh*tload of Hot City cops coming this way, and they're not here for the beer!, we were just going through the inventory when you turned up" Big Hoggy turned to CC and asked "did you see anything you liked?".......
.............CC went back to surveying the racks of weapons, an idea was forming, he turned to Big Hoggy " do you mind if I make a few suggestions?" Big Hoggy laughed " Batter on, we were just gonna load up and start fighting!".........
..........CC loked again there were three .50 Cal. Snipers Rifles,and he had just the three snipers in mind " Penny! Catherine! Rachel!" the Ladies came forward, CC handed them a rifle each with ammo " Well Ladies, when you're holding a weapon this size, just think of it as a date with me!, i want you up on the roofs at this end of the street, take a radio each, and I'll keep in touch with you, that ok with you girls?", the Ladies each hefted their rifles, Catherine smiled and said "Oh i do like a big weapon!"..............
CC laughed and said "thats one end of the street sorted, lets see what else ye've got in yer Alladinns Cave guys!", he looked up and down the racks of weapons, three dusty crates caught his eye, they were maked MINIGUN, CC smiled, he knew just the three guys big enough to handle them........
................"Chris, Ted, Jon, I've got a new instrument for you guys to play!",CC opened the crates and lifted out the Miniguns with difficulty, "here you go guys", Chris stepped forward and lifted it easily, "nice toy, what does it do?" CC looked him in the eye and said " you point it and press the button, and whatever you pointed it at, disappears!".............
..........."I need you guys with these at the other end of the street on the roofs, when the Hot City Cops turn up, the Riot Squad vans are always at the back, when I give you the nod, turn their vans into colanders!" at that point a high powered motorbike screeched to a halt outside, TK had a Tomahawk in each hand " Sh*t! , this place has never been this busy before", a slim wiry figure came through the door in leathers with his helmet on, he stopped, undid his helmet and lifted it off, a familiar white painted face came into view, TK exclaimed" Zal!", Rachel ran over and hugged Zal , Chris smiled and nodded to Zal, "I knew you would come", Zal smiled and turned to CC, and said " what can I do?" CC handed him two H&K submachine pistols and said " will you watch over our snipers and keep them covered?" Zal took the weapons and said, "of course, who's the snipers?" CC inclined his head towards the Ladies and said " those three lassies there, all three of them have saved my arse tonight, so i know i'm leaving them in safe hands".............
.............CC turned to all and said " I've got a plan that will let us kick the arse of the Hot City Cops, without too many folks getting hurt, anyone disagree?", TK said "we're all for that, what do we need to do?" CC asked " how are we for radios?", Big Hoggy replied "we've got loads whadya need?", CC looked round, "right give Zal and the girls one, give one to Chris,Ted and Jon, and we need one for CD as well", as the radios were handed out, CC turned to CD and said " well Craigie boy, looks like you're our eyes in the sky, just like the old days, reckon you still got the old moves?" ............
............Craigie Dee grinned and said" I might even have some new moves!" CC handed him a radio, and said " watch yourself, these cops ain't reknowned for playing fair" CD laughed "neither am I", at that, he walked out of the door, he dropped his board, which stopped about 4" off the ground, he stepped on, the board stayed hovering above the ground, CD turned and said " well lets see, if me and the old board still got it", at that , he leant forward and him and the board shot forward and upwards, all anyone could hear was CDs voice shouting "Yeeeeha!!", CC spoke into his radio mike and said " well, you aren't splattered all over the buildings across the road, so it looks like you've still got it then" CD answered " it was touch and go for a second or two, but I'm back in the zone now, I'll go high, and see if we can see our visitors coming"............
.............CC went back into the bar, and went through to the back room where Mike was working on the computer, Hugh was working with him, Mike turned "CC i've got some expert help, we've cracked a few Government Departments and Hugh and I are sending the info everywhere, we're getting a lot of contact from folk in the Hot City wanting to help", CC thought a moment, "tell them to come quietly, and wait till they hear the signal, after that tell them to make as much noise as possible!" Hugh turned and asked "what's the signal?" CC laughed "tell them they won't be able to miss it, when it comes!".........
..................CC returned to the bar " Right, is everybody armed?" there was a loud "Yeah", CC looked at the Tomahawk Kid questioningly "no guns?" TK reached behind the bar and pulled out a leather vest and started fitting throwing knives and tomahawks into the various pockets and straps on the vest, he put it on and said "guns ain't my thing CC, i like to deliver the personal touch".........
.............CC turned to see Helen standing beside him "where's my gun, i want to fight as well", CC looked at the steely determination in her eyes, he had wanted Helen out of harms way, but he knew if he even mentioned it, she'd probably kick his arse all over Buff's Bar, CC said "Ok , I'll get you a gun, i saw just the one for you, but you stick with me,and with a bit of luck, you might not need to shoot anyone, Ok", Helen nodded, CC went in to the gun room, and came back with a pistol for Helen, he handed it to her with two magazines, Helen burst out laughing and hugged CC, " I love it, Thank you"........
Authors note :- there was feck all wrong with the pink gun!
Oh, our first tiff!!, sorry dear, pick one you like then.
See anything you like?
...............inside Buffs bar, all were loading magazines, CC looked round, and saw Sue and Andy sitting quietly with no guns, he arched an eyebrow at both of them and smiled "OK after all the other surprises of tonight, what've you guys got?" Sue looked at Andy , he nodded imperceptibly, Sue turned to CC and said "guns ain't our thing either, but we'll help our way, if thats OK?", CC smiled and said " you know me , whatever the lady says, what are you bringing to the party?" Sue nodded to Andy, they both got up, Sue said "we'll just go and change, back in a minute"........
................CC turned to Big Hoggy " have we got any C4 plastic explosive?" Big Hoggy nodded " Aye, but we've no got time to set it up anywhere!" CC said "Its going with me, i need webbing , gaffa tape, some wire, and some household fuses, you got all of those?" Big Hoggy nodded "whad'ya need all that for?", CC smiled and said "I'm gonna cure somebodies constipation...permanently!" . As CC worked Sue and Andy came back into the bar..........
...........CC looked up from where he was working and nodded " i wondered about you two, the way you move gives you away, well, you don't need me to give you orders, go get set up out there, and scare the living sh*t out of Hot City's finest when they come" Sue and Andy nodded and with their Katanas over their shoulders, left the bar soundlessly, Big Hoggy looked out the door a split second after they left " they've disappeared, how the f*ck did they do that?", CC looked at him and said "makes you glad they're on our side, doesn't it"...................
...................CC lifted what he was working on, it was now a waistcoat covered in blocks of plastic explosive with wires running from block to block with what looked like silver detonator caps in each one, he turned to Big Hoggy again " I need a lighter or even a lipstick, got either?" TK rummaged in a drawer behind the bar and pulled out several lighters " folk leave them all the time, any of these do?" CC picked one and taped two wires to it, "right now we're ready!" CC put on the waistcoat, he looked like a suicide bomber, everyone looked, a few voices muttered, " are you f*ckin mental or what?" CC laughed "don't worry, it wont work, but if someone else thinks it will, it gives you the advantage!"...............
..............the radio crackled, it was CD, " heads up folks, our visitor's are about 2 minutes away, theres two Hot City Secret Police cars in the lead, 16 patrol cars, and three Riot Squad vans bringing up the rear, and i don't think any of them are bringing Chocolates or Flowers!" CC put his ear piece in "thanks CD, stay edgy, in case they've got some reinforcements in hiding", "Right Folks, we all ready, its party time!!".......................
...............CC threw on a long coat to cover his "bomb vest", he put his radio Mic on, "Penny, Catherine, Rachel, can you hear me OK?", Penny replied "loud and clear", " CC nodded " right girls, when i tell you, take out the three cop cars, just take the engines out, one shot with those rifles, the cars will be scrap!" "Chris,Ted, Jon, can you hear me OK?" Chris replied "Yep". CC smiled "right, when i tell you turn the riot squad vans into Swiss Cheese, wait till they're empty, I'll give you the nod , ok"........
...............CC looked round the bar, the place bristled with all sorts of weaponry, from TKs Tomahawks , Sergeant Fury's M16s, Big Hoggys Shotgun, no Shotguns, his original one seemed to have a twin, Huntvambo with a brace of machine pistols, Chad the Lad and Miss Mayhem and K9 Kev with Automatic pistols, CC looked at all of them and thought to himself "i hope this plan works, a lot of good people could get hurt if it doesn't" CC headed for the door and paused "right, listen up, no heroics, and if it all goes pear shaped, get back here and go through the tunnels" A voice shouted "Wait!, ye'r no going without us are you?", it was Max with Platterpete and Colin McB and Amos, CC asked " where were you?" Max laughed " you were all that busy, we decided to have a few beers and stay out of the way!" this broke the tension, only Sahbsters could settle down for a few beers in the midst of all this stress, as they moved to the door, CC spoke into his Mic "Craigie Dee, hows our situation looking?" " what you've got coming is all you're getting, it looks like there are problems for Hot City's Finest all over the City, I'll keep watching!".............
.........They walked out the door into the street.........
TK and The Sarge
The Maxx
Huntvambo
Big Hoggy
Platterpete
jamnah22
Hannah
Chad the Lad
Miss Mayhem
K9 Kev
Colin McB and Amos
.............CC looked round, where was Helen?, a voice behind him said "I'm here, I thought I'd change for the occasion, since everyone else was"
.......
............they stood in the street, all were armed to the teeth, CC had his pistol he'd borrowed from Catherine, in his belt, he pulled his coat closed, the cop cars screeched round the corner, CC shouted "nobody fire unless they do!", a figure came out of a dark doorway and stood near them facing the Hot City Cops, CC looked a gasped, it was the Man with No Face, he'd come to help them, he looked round and nodded to everyone, and turned to face the approaching cops..........
............they stood in the street, all were armed to the teeth, CC had his pistol he'd borrowed from Catherine, in his belt, he pulled his coat closed, the cop cars screeched round the corner, CC shouted "nobody fire unless they do!", a figure came out of a dark doorway and stood near them facing the Hot City Cops, CC looked a gasped, it was the Man with No Face, he'd come to help them, he looked round and nodded to everyone, and turned to face the approaching cops..........
..............the cops screeched to a halt three cars abreast filling the street edge to edge almost, the Hot City Secret Police, exited their cars weapons drawn, but stayed behind the doors, all the other cops , ran forward from their cars, followed by the Riot Squad, whose vans brought up the rear, they bocked the street at the other end, CC smiled, they were dangerous, but predictable, this might work after all, "THROW DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND PLACE YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD, OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!!" ..................
................the secret policeman bellowed through his loudhailer, CC spoke into his Mic, "right its game on, listen for your cue, no firing till then" CC raised his hands and crossed them in the universal sign of parley and walked slowly forward to the cops....................
...............the sneering Secret Cop stepped forward and raised his weapon "that's far enough, tell your friends to drop their weapons, and they will all go for reeducation, but we want the scientist b*tch, she's in big trouble!" CC started laughing, "I'll tell you what Pig!, call that lady a pregnant dog again and i'll kill you before you can even get a shot off, she's my lady, so I won't warn you again, now, heres how its gonna work You and your men will drop their weapons and if you do , you might survive tonight, so hows that for you Pig!"................
............the cop looked at CC and sneered "you're outnumbered , outgunned, and you are telling me to drop my weapons, I don't think so" CC laughed and threw open his coat, all the cops gasped when they saw the explosive strapped to his chest, CC raised the lighter with the wires on it, to the cops it looked like a trigger, CC looked at the sneering cop, whose face was now devoid of colour, "what was it you were ordering us to do, i don't remember exactly, refresh my memory" the cop looked at him wide eyed and licked his lips nervously "you wouldn't, you would die too" he said quitely, CC laughed maniacally " we've all gotta go sometime, and if i'm going, i get the bonus of taking about 40 of you arseholes with me, so its worth the trade off!, so we were talking about you and your men dropping their weapons, now if i haven't convinced you, heres a wee demonstration of what will happen to those of you that are left after my little firework goes off!"..............
.................CC spoke into his mic "Ladies, show the cop just how much you don't like his cars untidying the street!" ..........
.............KERAAAK!!!, the three shots were almost simultaneous, the three police cars in front desintigrated from the windscreen forward, cops scattered, some raised their weapons as if to fire, and Sue and Andy somersaulted through them flashing swords and firing off Ninja Throwing Stars, as quick as they appeared they disappeared, leaving some extremely nervous cops behind, the Secret Policeman was now looking around for an escape route, CC smiled at him "don't even think about moving Pig, or you'll go the same way as the car" he touched his mic "you got him Penny?" a red laser dot appeared on the cops chest, CC smiled and pointed to it, the cop looked down and whimpered, "so now that i've got your attention, here's the deal, the lady scientist you wanted to silence, well its a waste of time, coz the info she had is now known to most of the folk in Hot City, and its being beamed round the World as we speak, so she will not be harmed, are we in agreement" the cop looked at CC and nodded and said "the information she had could bring down the Government, do you realise what you've done?", CC looked at him and said " Yep, we've cleaned the place up a bit, so tell your men to drop their weapons NOW!".................
..............a few diehard cops shouted "we'd rather go down fighting and racked their weapons, CC nodded and spoke into his mic, "Chris, you guys are up!" the night was split with a sound like million chainsaws, VFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!, it was ear splitting, the Riot Squad Vans were almost obliterated, the next row of Cop Cars blew up one after another from the ricochets from the hail of bullets.............
.............the cops stood up and one by one dropped their weapons , they were beat and they knew it, the Secret Cop looked at CC, he had the look of a man who had looked into Hell and survived, he handed his gun to CC and said "you may have won this battle, but you'll never win the war", CC laughed and said "the war is over, your time is gone now, just listen"..........
.............THUD,THUD THUD.....We Will.........We Will Rock You!!! the cop looked at CC and said "what is it?" CC laughed "that's Queen fans, folks that have listened to the music you and your kind banned, keep listening, "We're ON A Highway To Hell!!" could be heard coming from the other direction, the cop looked at CC "there sounds like there are thousands of them" CC laughed "there are, there always were! ,keep listening Cop, you might learn something!" , there were hundreds of people converging on the street that Buffs Bar was on, ther were music fans of all ages, singing all the anthems from their favourite band or artist, "Smoke on the Water"," Freebird" Stairway to Heaven" Physical (yeah there were some ONJ fans as well) CC looked down at the cop and said " if i were you i'd find another job far away, and real soon!" all the cops bolted, as they did a bright light lit up the sky acompanied by a sound like a thousand yards of silk ripping........... .............as everyone'e eyes cleared after the flash they looked up at the sky.........
VAMBO STILL ROOLS OK!
Well, what happened next, did things get better or worse, well here goes
..............everyone looked at the words in the sky, many had tears in their eyes they knew something spectacular had happened, but many weren't sure exactly what, many said that they seemed to hear a voice in their head accompanied by a throaty chuckle "Good Folks, Good Home Folks!", all the Sahbsters knew the significance of the words and many had a tear in their eye, at that point Big Hoggy and TK said " C'mon the bars open!!"............
.........there followed a party of epic proportion, it was amazing, we all got rides on Craigie Dee's board, the biggest conga you've ever seen went over the top of all the remaining undamaged Cop Cars, all the musicians played/sang till they all passed out, ther was even a wee demonstration of "twirling", but i'm naming no names, you'll have to look up old posts to see who the culprits were.......
..........CC and Helen, well what happened there, CC said nothing, coz a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, suffice to say, Helen had a smile on her face that you couldn't knock off with a shovel for three days, she kept saying "its huge!!", they eventually got married and had three kids (one of each!) , Helen went on to become a World Class Photographer, and CC became a kept man, which suited him fine!...........
...........Big Hoggy and TK opened a franchise of Buffs Bar all over the world, they still work behind the bar sometimes, just you never know whether it'll be Buenos Aries or Airdrie, they travel a lot!..........
.........Penny headed home to Wales, they still had pockets of resistance there, so she rode down on the Harley and took her new rifle with her, she gave Platterpete a lift home as well, its said the Peac*cks don't put a step out of line now, word of their Mistress's marksmanship spreads fast!!.........
..........Lady Catherine returned to Vibrania, to take her rightful place as Lady Mayoress, Rachel and Zal returned there as well....
..........most everyone went back to their normal lives, but with a feeling of freedom to listen to what they wanted....
........the Government fell, President Bono was belted in the face with a guitar and told that the next time he mentions politics, it better be when he is singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday", the pretentious arsehole, Minister Sting was sentenced to 10 hours tantric sex with the sandpaper and Chilli Dildo.....
..........as for the Band, well, they went on to finish writing the Hot City Symphony all 18 tracks of it, when it was released it was said this was SAHB's Dark Side of The Moon, it was a highly successful album, Zal stayed in "retirement" and finished his book, it shot straight into the bestseller list, he took some time to help with the Hot City Symphony, and as the band took to the road, to a full sell out tour, some gigs they do the full Hot City Symphony and now and again a white painted familiar face joins them on stage, coz some of the tracks need two guitars, these are always great nights, full of old fans and new alike, and some of the kids have asked "who's the guy in the striped top, watching and smiling from the side of the stage?", and we all laugh and say "go buy all the early albums and find out!"...............and Peterbarrow woke up and asked "did i miss anything?" THE END
Ye wanna hear the real aftermath story?
Picture the scene, its near the witching hour, theres a dodgy bunch 'o' characters hanging around a disreputable tavern in a bad part 'o' the hot city,
The Cast
Captain Caveman- The hero of the hour, a kind , decent chap with huge genitalia, need i say more
Helen- a modern day Mata Hari, Captain Caveman's weakness, his Lois Lane , if you will
Swapsnake and Andy- a couple of beautiful people, but don't be decieved, Sue once pulled Peter Smiekels knob off!!!!!!!!!!!
Maxamillion Maxwell - a strange Machevellian character, who could be seen stroking a cat saying "I expect you to die Mr. Bond"
yet comes though to save the day
Platterpete- One of The Good Guys
Huntvambo- The same , unless you bid against him on Ebay, then he is utterly ruthless
Mike Drew - A man of great talents, but shows no mercy
Craigie Dee - A fellow super hero, a cross between Spider man and Mr Bean
As we left the tavern, Helen turned to Captain Caveman and said " I can resist your charms no longer CC, take me away from here and make me yours forevever!!!"
Captain Cavemans heart swelled in his chest, these were the words he'd waited to hear, he opened the door to his Ferrari , he held the beautiful Helens hand as she entered, they're eyes locked, sparks of passion flashed between them.
CC started the Ferrari, and set off, he looked at the beautiful lady next to him, he could not believe she was his, they sped through the night, no words were needed, their hands occasionaly touched as CC changed gear, sending sparks of electricity through both of them.
As they sped through the streets of the Hot City, they were lost in each other, the beautiful Helen could not believe she could want a man more than she wanted CC, as she watched him drive his Ferrari as well as a professional racing driver, she thought if he does everything as well as this.................
things were not to be, as they sped through the city, the Hot City cops chased them there were sirens, blue lights, the crack of gunshots split the night, CC floored the Ferrari and sped off, more cops joined the chase, CC turned to Helen and said "This could get dangerous", Helen looked at CC and said " as long as I'm with you , i'm fine"
CC grinned in the darknees and put the pedal to the metal, this was gonna work, they sped in to the night witj Hellen hanging out the window shouting " Ye'll never take us alive Copper, F*ck You!!!"
More cops joined the chase, bullets slammed into the back of the Ferrari, CC turned to Helen and said " I've always said as long as I've got a face you've got a place to sit, but you're too beautiful to get shot, phone the Maxx, he'll get you to safety",
Helen choked back the tears, the love of her life was willing to lay down his life to save her, she got the Maxx on the phone and told him the situation, The Maxx said " Tell CC to pull a Crazy Ivan, like we did in Bogota in 83'! ", through the tears Helen passed the message to CC, CC grinned and said " hang on to your hat this is gonna get a little scary!!"
At that CC downshifted and spun the Ferrari, and headed straight back at the Hot City Cops, they scattered and CC turned to Helen and said " Sorry Sweetcheeks, but i need to get you safe and lead these arseholes away from you" Helen realised at this point she would be CC's woman forever, they sped down a dimly lit side street, CC braked and stopped , The Maxx stepped from the shadows, his associates Craigie Dee and Mike Drew keeping watch for the Hot City Pigs, He opened the door , And said " there's not a second to lose Helen , come with us, you'll be safe" Helen turned to CC with tears in her eyes " will I see you again?", CC leaned over their lips brushed briefly, " Wild Horses couldn't keep me away from you" At that CC slammed the ferrari into gear and sped off, Helen and the Maxx and his henchmen slid back into the shadows as the Hot City Cops sped past in pursuit of the Caveman!!
................. CC sped through the night, he could concentrate on losing the Hot City Cops, now that he knew the lovely Helen and the secrets she carried, were safe with The Maxx, the leader of the Vambo Liberation Front in the Hot City, CC knew the Maxx never put a foot wrong, Helen was safe...............
..............But he was having problems, a stray cops bullet had done some damage to his beloved Ferrari, he knew he needed help and he knew who would help him, The 3 Ladies, for those who didn't know them, the 3 Ladies were Lady Catherine the Exiled Lady Mayoress of Vibrania, Lady Penelope the leader of the welsh VLF, and Lady Rachel the Consort of the exiled Crown Prince of Vibrania
...........CC had seen them earlier at the secret Sahbstock gig, Lady Catherine wearing a Scarlet floor length gown with a provocative slit up to her thigh and her foot long ebony cigarette holder , then Lady Penelope a curvaceous raven haired Welsh beauty resplendent in Jet Black from head to toe, with her cane, Lady P. had been shot in the Rock Drill wars saving VLF members and used a cane ever since, then the beautiful Lady Rachel, an alabaster skinned with jet Black hair, all beautiful , but utterly ruthless, CC thanked his lucky stars they were on his side...............
...........he phoned "Lady C, i need your help, i got Hot City's finest hunting me down", Catherine asked where he was, CC told her, she Said " head West towards Goudie Towers, we'll do the rest!"
............. CC headed West, feeling better, he was getting help from the best.................
........Meanwhile, in Goudie Towers, "CC's on his way here girls, and he's got heat, we need to help him".............
...........CC drove through the night with the HOT City Cops in hot pursuit, they stayed back since he'd pulled the "Crazy Ivan" a few streets back, he hoped the Ferrari would hold out till the Ladies could get to him...........
..........Lady Penelope lifted her cane, and pressed a small button under the handle, she reached into her bag and brought out a a steel cylinder, Click, Click, and all of a sudden the cane had become a long range snipers rifle, and in Penny's hands a lethal weapon, she hefted the rifle onto her shoulder and looked through the telescopic sight...............
................in a safe house, somewhere in the Hot City in a dark room, Helen turns to The Maxx and asks " how far do you and CC go back?", Max looks at her for an absurdly long time and says " we didn't know each other as such, we knew of each other", Max looked down and said " Craigie Dee is probably the man to ask, but he never talks about the Rock Drill Wars", Max shook his head, and paused, "it was a hard time for all the Sahbsters back then, some guys and gals saw a lot of action".............
.............Max paused, " all who wanted a better world, like ALEX had talked about, tried their hardest to make it happen, but the forces of Mediocrity took over, it was a scary time, we all lost a lot of friends back then, CC was with Jungle Jenny back then, i never thought he'd look at another woman, then he met you"..........
............Helen looked at Max, she was aware of the reasuring presence of Mike Drew and Craigie Dee watching at the windows, both with hands beneath their jackets , no doubt resting on the butts of their silenced automatic pistols, she turned to Max and asked "what happened to her?", Max hesitated, " the story goes that they went on patrol, and were ambushed by the Mediocres, CC came back with Jungle Jenny seriously wounded, she died soon after, CC never spoke about it again, that's all we know"............
.............Helen bit her lip, and wondered was he safe, she was worried that she might never know if the rumours about CC's humoungous genitals were true, she just had to find out for herself, she prayed he'd get to safety...........
..............CC headed towards Goudie Towers, his Ferrari was misfiring , he knew he did not have long, he phoned Catherine, " whatever you've got i need now", Catherine laughed " relax, Penny's got it covered".............
...........Penny looked through her telescopic sight, she zeroed in on the bonnet of the first Cop car, she gently carressed the trigger........
..................KABOOM!!.........the bonnet of the Cop Car flipped over the windscreen, it veered to the right, its driver unable to see or steer properly due to his engine being on fire as well, he veered into the path of another Cop Car, who swerved to avoid him and drove into another , both cars slid into the barriers, 3 down , 3 to go, his phone was still on, he said " Catherine, tell Penny thank you, thats evened up the odds a bit !" Catherine said "tell her yourself, I'll patch you through"........
............... CC heard the beautiful Welsh accent in his earpiece, " three down three to go CC, wanna help me get the others?"
CC laughed in spite of the danger, "you're the boss, Lady P, just tell me what you need" although his Ferrari was failing fast they were still travelling about 110 mph, this was gonna be close.............
............Penny sighted down her rifle and selected rapid fire, "ok CC when i tell you, start to slow down, then slide over to the right, ok" CC answered " whatever you say, just tell me when.".....
.............."now" CC flicked to the right, the Cops thought they had him and sped up, Penny opened fire, the first two Cop Cars bonnets desintigrated under the hail of fire, their engines dragging on the ground showering the night with sparks, the last Cop Car stopped and started to reverse, Penny put a shot through his radiator just to discourage him.........
.........CC drove on, knowing he was safe for now thanks to Catherine and Penny, he was so happy they were on his side, he wouldn't want it any other way, he wondered should he offer them a "large portion of" as a thank you, but thought perhaps not, it wouldn't be fair to Helen.........................
.................CC's Ferrari coasted to a halt outside Goudie Towers, it wasn't going any further, he made a mental note that the Hot City Cops would paY for that, as he exited the car, Lady C. stepped forward out of the shadows, she had changed out of her scarlet gown into a skin tight leather catsuit, she laughed "looks like you could do with a lift?".............
...........CC thought to himself seeing Lady C. in a leather catsuit had given him a bit of a lift, but , he knew this was not the time or the place to think like that, at that point he noticed Rachel in the shadows with a submachine gun, checking out all approaches , she glanced at CC and winked........
..............Catherine stopped and placed her finger to her ear, CC noticed the mini transciever in her ear, Catherine said "Penny says we've got more company coming, she's gonna discourage them" CC could hear the shots ringing out from the top of the building, he was glad he wasn't a Hot City Cop, coz Penny never missed.............
................Catherine turned to Rachel, "keep watch" and turned to CC and said "c'mon you can help!", CC followed Catherine into the parking bay of the building, there were two black motorcycles waiting, Catherine said "help me wheel these out!"...........
.............As they wheeled the bikes out, a black rope landed between them, they looked up to see Lady P. abseiling down, as she unclipped herself, she said "we've got way more company than i can deal with, we gotta go!".........
..........Penny mouted one bike, and Catherine the other, Rachel jumped on behind Penny, CC sat behind Catherine, she said " hang on tight, this is gonna be hairy!"............
............CC hung on, Catherine turned and said " when i said hang on , i didn't mean to them!!" CC held on a bit lower and said "oops sorry".........
..............meanwhile in the safe house, The Maxx turned to Helen and said "we need to get moving, we think its you the Cops are looking for", Catherine's just phoned, "CC's with her, Penny and Rachel, and there all ok ....so far"...................
..........Helen turned and asked "why do you think they want me?", Maxx shrugged and said " i can only assume that the authorities think you have knowledge that is a threat to them, i dunno, but when we get where we're going we might just find out".........
............Helen was a scientist, and knew that her lab handled sensitive material, but she didn't think anything she was working on could be seen as a threat.........
............Maxx stood up, "Right, its time to go, Craigie Dee you're on point, Mike watch our backs, down to the basement we're going by the old underground railway".............
they went down to the basement , it was dull and dusty, with piles of rubbish lying around, Maxx walked over to the wall, and touched what looked like 3 dirty marks on the wall, a door opened silently in the wall, Craigie Dee said "wait here, I'll go check its clear", after a couple of quiet minutes Craigie Dee came back through the door "we're good to go" and turned and led the way............
..........Helen and Maxx followed and Mike Drew pulled a lever in the passage wall that closed the door silently behind them, it wasn't totally dark, Helen could see a film of dust on the floor, no-one had been here for a long time, they started to walk.......
..........Helen felt better since she knew her man was safe , but was wondering just how this was going to end, she tapped Maxx on the shoulder "Maxx , just exactly where are we going?" Maxx chuckled "Oh didn't i tell you, were heading to Buffs Bar".......
.............the two motorcycles thundered through the night, the noise of their passing reverberated off the buildings they passed, CC thought to himself that this was shaping up to be a remarkably memorable day, so far an absloutely beautiful lady scientist had fallen for him, and he had unwittingly had held the Lady Mayoress Mammaries, this was definately a great day, apart from the Hot City's finest trying to kill all of them , it was a case of so far so good..............
..........CC leaned forward and shouted to Catherine "whats at Buffs Bar?", CC had heard of the place in song, but didn't realise it actually existed, Catherine shouted back "there's people there that can help us".............
............CC leaned forward to ask Catherine what people?, as he did he felt something tug at his shoulder, he looked back there were three motorbikes following them, all with guys on the back firing at them, CC nudged Catherine "we've got company", he looked over to Penny's bike in time to see Rachel perform a rather complicated gymnastic move which left her facing backwards on the bike, she smiled across, and unslung her submachine gun and started firing in controlled bursts at their pursuers................
..........CC looked back, there was only one bike now and two fires in the distance, he made a mental note, don't mess with Rachel, there was still one bike behind them, CC loked across at Rachel, she held up her gun and mouthed "I'm out"............
..........bullets flew round them, Catherine shouted to CC, "shoot the bugger!!", CC shouted back" I don't have a gun!", Catherine shouted " theres one behind you in the pannier!", CC reahed down behind the pannier and pulled out a .45 Caliber Automatic, he thought "now we're talking", he jacked the slide of the pistol and looked back at the following bike, and sighted down the pistol, he fired four shots in succesion, the rider and the passenger of the bike behind them flew backwards off the bike as the bike exploded, CC pushed the pistol into his belt and leaned back into Catherine, she shouted back "are they gone?", CC leaned forward and said "Yep!, and the last two got a technicolour funeral!"..............
............the two motorcycles thundered through the night, the part of town they were passing through was becoming more and more run down, the good thing was that it was a no go area after dark for the Hot City Cops, they turned down a dark street, the lights of Buff's Bar dimly lit the street, a figure opened a graffiti covered corrugated iron gate next to the bar, it was Platterpete, he waved them into the alley next to the bar, they stopped the bikes and got off, Catherine turned to CC and asked " where's your gun, and if you didn't have one what was that digging into my ba............oh" Catherine blushed in the darkness, CC turned and said " I sent my gun to be cleaned this weekend, timing is everything", they turned to see Platterpete whose face was badly bruised, Penny asked "what happened to you?" Platterpete shrugged " Hot City's finest are rousting everyone who was at Sahbstock, i had a run in with them" , Platterpete was a quiet chap, but was a major member of the VLF, CC wondered how the cops had fared, as it was kinda telling that Platterpete was here and not getting the third degree downtown, they followed Platterpete into Buff's Bar......
..............CC's eyes adjusted to the gloom, he looked round and saw a lot of familiar faces, the VLF crack squad were there, Chad the Lad, K9 Kev, Miss Mayhem, there were some others there as well, Sue and Andy, Sgt.Fury, Huntvambo, Jamnah and Hannah, Amos, Isobel,Zenmetal.........
............CC turned to Catherine and asked "who owns this place?"
........a deep voice behind him said "I do, and yer first one is on the house" CC turned to see a man behind the bar with a huge cigar in his hand, Catherine said " CC meet Big Hoggy, him and the Tomohawk Kid own this place" Cc was stunned, he knew of these guys, they were legends, it was said that they were the only ones who knew where Vambo went, some said they had actually seen and met Alex himself, he knew that back in the day Big Hoggy spread the word of Vambo far and wide, he was the unnoficial High Priest of Sahbsters everywhere, CC realised it was him in disguise he had seen on stage earlier spraying VAMBO ROOLS to great applause, CC wondered if it was him that had sprayed TONGS YA BASS in the toilets..................
...........CC turned to see the Tomohawk Kid come in, this was the Archive Master of all things SAHB, if you wanted to know anything about the SAHB legends and VLF history this was the man that knew, if the Hot City Cops knew that these two were here, they'd rip the city apart to get to them..........
.............Craigie Dee, The Maxx, Helen and Mike Drew, moved through the tunnels under the Hot City, occasionally a scurrying rat would cross their path, as they walked Helen said to Max, "tell me more about the way things were?".........
.........Max chuckled " that's easier said than done, you're too young to remember, but back in the day, SAHB were a big deal, they could fill Stadiums, and the music was good, but there was a message to it as well, the short version was, look after the planet , look after each other, nothing more than that, but the powers that be don't want to hear that, they want to hear, spend, spend, buy this , buy that, make us rich, so bands like SAHB were undermined, and the rich guys hoped they'd just fade away, and that the kids would listen to their manafactured pish, and sadly it worked, up to a point, but the fans of the great bands wouldn't buy in to the brainwashing, thats what led to the Rock Drill wars, it was more like riots in some places, but a lot of good folks got hurt, all because they wouldn't toe the party line, it was bad.............
................they walked on, Max continued "we all thought it would get better, then President Bono got elected, folks thought thing's will get better, he was a musician, well he made things worse, he made all music that wasn't mediocre illegal, he institued campaigns like Its Grand to be Bland, Beige is all the Rage, and him and his hangers on like Sting, he did deals with all the big multinational names like Nike etc, and between them all they dictated who we were to listen to, but we wouldn't lie down to it, we've fought these arseholes ever since..........
.............Craigie Dee signalled to them to be quiet, and drew his weapon, there was figure lying at the base of a rickety stairway that led to Buff's Bar, Max pushed Helen against the wall and stood in front of her, Craigie Dee came back to Max and said "its Peterbarrow, he's alive, i think he's been drugged".........
........Max and Helen came forward, Max said "lets get to the bar, and we'll see what's what", at that Craigie Dee holstered his pistol and hoisted Peterbarrow on to his shoulder, they all climbed the stairs into Buff's Bar..........
...............inside Buffs Bar, the Tomahawk Kid came over and said, "the sh*it is gonna hit the fan tonight, there are cops everywhere, even the Riot Squad's out in force, and they are heading to wards here", he continued " we've had folk we know looking into why they want Helen,and we think we know why"......
.............at that point an alarm rang behind the bar, they're were sounds of weapons being c*cked, and Big Hoggy produced a massive shotgun from below the bar, as if from nowhere the Tomahawk Kid had a tomahawk in each hand, Big Hoggy spoke "Peterbarrow was guarding the door from the Underground Railway, someone's tripped the alarm!" , he moved across to a panel in the wall and looked through a spy hole " its OK, its The Maxx " , Big Hoggy slung his shotgun over his shoulder and opened a secret door, Max, Helen, Mike Drew, and Craigie Dee carrying an unconscious Peterbarrow came through, Helen rushed to CC " i didn't think I'd see you again" CC held her in his arms and thought we really need to focus on the situation at hand, but wondered if everyone would miss him and Helen if they sloped off for a quickie!!............
...................Craigie Dee laid Peterbarrow on a couch, Big Hoggy examined him and beckoned Helen over "you're the nearest thing we've got to a Doctor Helen, would you mind checking Pete?" , Helen came over, CC thought "well ,bang goes that idea!" , Helen turned and said " as far as i can tell, he's been drugged, i think he'll just need to sleep it off" .............
............TK turned to Helen , "we think we know why the Cops are after you, remember your lab was working on substances found in food, well we sent your data to a coupla guys we know in America and Canada, Vic and Ginnie they're called, well because over there they ain't under the information restrictions that we are here, they found out that the chemical you isolated, that the Food Agency told your Lab it was a harmless preservative, well its a really clever synthetic sedative that can be used for mind control and brain-washing, and we think the folk in charge decided to get rid of you, coz they weren't sure how much you knew"............
............Helen gasped "the bast*rds, i hadn't even started looking at it, what about my colleagues?" TK looked at the floor " we've tried to find them , but they've all disappeared, sorry" Helen turned and said to CC " are you gonna help me get these people?" CC nodded and thought well there goes the quickie for sure now, coz Helen was coldly furious, no-one was gonna do this to her and her friends any more.....................
........................Big Hoggy racked his shotgun and laughed "well it looks like the arseholes are coming for us anyway, so do we fight or run?" a resounding chorus of "WE FIGHT !" reverberated round the bar, TK laughed "we've all gotta die someday, today's as good a day as any other!!", TK turned to Mike drew and said "right Mike , time for Brokenantler to do his stuff!" everyone turned and looked coz the name Brokenantler was used on the internet for spreading SAHB info, nobody knew who Brokenantler was until now, they just knew he was a computer genius who had evaded capture by Government forces for years, TK said "right Mike, start hacking and bugger up any and all Government bodies you can, at the same time , get the word out to anybody that'll listen about what's gone down, Will ye manage?" Mike grinned and cracked his knuckles, "We'll see , lets get busy!"........................
............ TK turned and looked at CD and said "your stuff's in the back room, reckon its time you came out of retirement, what about you?" Craigie Dee said nothing for a moment and then straightened up and said "Why not, i didn't have a date tonight anyway!" Craigie Dee disappeared into the back room, Helen turned to CC "what's all that about?" CC said " well, d'you remember the Silver Surfer? well Craigie Dee's the Tarnished Surfer, same powers, just not so squeaky clean!, he hung up the board a few years ago, but hey, looks like he's back!".............
......the door to the back room opened and a figure in a silver suit with a silver surfboard under his arm walked out, he looked like Craigie Dee, but somehow very different, CC looked at him and threw a casual salute, "just like old times, buddy, you ready to rock'n'roll?", CD nodded and laughed, "yeah, suit's a wee bit tighter than i remember, it must've shrunk", CC laughed with him, then turned to Big Hoggy and said " your beer is good, how's the firearm situation?"...................
....................Big Hoggy laughed and shouted "TK! the mans wondering if we've got any toys in the toybox!", TK smiled and said " Captain Caveman, we've been ready for this day for a long time, we're loaded for Bear and then some!" at that he moved to a panel in the wall and kicked the bottom of it, the panel slid aside to reveal a room stacked full of weapons and ammunition, CC looked round and whistled softly "wow, you ain't kidding, you've got everything and then some!" just then they heard the screech of tyres outside, TK shouted "Heads Up, we've got company!", the door opened and a large figure in a leather coat stepped through, he lifted his head and smiled, it was the big man himself Chris Glen, he looked round and laughed "don't shoot guys , I'm here to help, and I brought some company".........
.............the doors opened again and Ted, Hugh, Julian and Jon Morrison came in, Chris laughed "i brought reinforcements, so what's the score?" Big Hoggy said "we've got a sh*tload of Hot City cops coming this way, and they're not here for the beer!, we were just going through the inventory when you turned up" Big Hoggy turned to CC and asked "did you see anything you liked?".......
.............CC went back to surveying the racks of weapons, an idea was forming, he turned to Big Hoggy " do you mind if I make a few suggestions?" Big Hoggy laughed " Batter on, we were just gonna load up and start fighting!".........
..........CC loked again there were three .50 Cal. Snipers Rifles,and he had just the three snipers in mind " Penny! Catherine! Rachel!" the Ladies came forward, CC handed them a rifle each with ammo " Well Ladies, when you're holding a weapon this size, just think of it as a date with me!, i want you up on the roofs at this end of the street, take a radio each, and I'll keep in touch with you, that ok with you girls?", the Ladies each hefted their rifles, Catherine smiled and said "Oh i do like a big weapon!"..............
CC laughed and said "thats one end of the street sorted, lets see what else ye've got in yer Alladinns Cave guys!", he looked up and down the racks of weapons, three dusty crates caught his eye, they were maked MINIGUN, CC smiled, he knew just the three guys big enough to handle them........
................"Chris, Ted, Jon, I've got a new instrument for you guys to play!",CC opened the crates and lifted out the Miniguns with difficulty, "here you go guys", Chris stepped forward and lifted it easily, "nice toy, what does it do?" CC looked him in the eye and said " you point it and press the button, and whatever you pointed it at, disappears!".............
..........."I need you guys with these at the other end of the street on the roofs, when the Hot City Cops turn up, the Riot Squad vans are always at the back, when I give you the nod, turn their vans into colanders!" at that point a high powered motorbike screeched to a halt outside, TK had a Tomahawk in each hand " Sh*t! , this place has never been this busy before", a slim wiry figure came through the door in leathers with his helmet on, he stopped, undid his helmet and lifted it off, a familiar white painted face came into view, TK exclaimed" Zal!", Rachel ran over and hugged Zal , Chris smiled and nodded to Zal, "I knew you would come", Zal smiled and turned to CC, and said " what can I do?" CC handed him two H&K submachine pistols and said " will you watch over our snipers and keep them covered?" Zal took the weapons and said, "of course, who's the snipers?" CC inclined his head towards the Ladies and said " those three lassies there, all three of them have saved my arse tonight, so i know i'm leaving them in safe hands".............
.............CC turned to all and said " I've got a plan that will let us kick the arse of the Hot City Cops, without too many folks getting hurt, anyone disagree?", TK said "we're all for that, what do we need to do?" CC asked " how are we for radios?", Big Hoggy replied "we've got loads whadya need?", CC looked round, "right give Zal and the girls one, give one to Chris,Ted and Jon, and we need one for CD as well", as the radios were handed out, CC turned to CD and said " well Craigie boy, looks like you're our eyes in the sky, just like the old days, reckon you still got the old moves?" ............
............Craigie Dee grinned and said" I might even have some new moves!" CC handed him a radio, and said " watch yourself, these cops ain't reknowned for playing fair" CD laughed "neither am I", at that, he walked out of the door, he dropped his board, which stopped about 4" off the ground, he stepped on, the board stayed hovering above the ground, CD turned and said " well lets see, if me and the old board still got it", at that , he leant forward and him and the board shot forward and upwards, all anyone could hear was CDs voice shouting "Yeeeeha!!", CC spoke into his radio mike and said " well, you aren't splattered all over the buildings across the road, so it looks like you've still got it then" CD answered " it was touch and go for a second or two, but I'm back in the zone now, I'll go high, and see if we can see our visitors coming"............
.............CC went back into the bar, and went through to the back room where Mike was working on the computer, Hugh was working with him, Mike turned "CC i've got some expert help, we've cracked a few Government Departments and Hugh and I are sending the info everywhere, we're getting a lot of contact from folk in the Hot City wanting to help", CC thought a moment, "tell them to come quietly, and wait till they hear the signal, after that tell them to make as much noise as possible!" Hugh turned and asked "what's the signal?" CC laughed "tell them they won't be able to miss it, when it comes!".........
..................CC returned to the bar " Right, is everybody armed?" there was a loud "Yeah", CC looked at the Tomahawk Kid questioningly "no guns?" TK reached behind the bar and pulled out a leather vest and started fitting throwing knives and tomahawks into the various pockets and straps on the vest, he put it on and said "guns ain't my thing CC, i like to deliver the personal touch".........
.............CC turned to see Helen standing beside him "where's my gun, i want to fight as well", CC looked at the steely determination in her eyes, he had wanted Helen out of harms way, but he knew if he even mentioned it, she'd probably kick his arse all over Buff's Bar, CC said "Ok , I'll get you a gun, i saw just the one for you, but you stick with me,and with a bit of luck, you might not need to shoot anyone, Ok", Helen nodded, CC went in to the gun room, and came back with a pistol for Helen, he handed it to her with two magazines, Helen burst out laughing and hugged CC, " I love it, Thank you"........
Authors note :- there was feck all wrong with the pink gun!
Oh, our first tiff!!, sorry dear, pick one you like then.
See anything you like?
...............inside Buffs bar, all were loading magazines, CC looked round, and saw Sue and Andy sitting quietly with no guns, he arched an eyebrow at both of them and smiled "OK after all the other surprises of tonight, what've you guys got?" Sue looked at Andy , he nodded imperceptibly, Sue turned to CC and said "guns ain't our thing either, but we'll help our way, if thats OK?", CC smiled and said " you know me , whatever the lady says, what are you bringing to the party?" Sue nodded to Andy, they both got up, Sue said "we'll just go and change, back in a minute"........
................CC turned to Big Hoggy " have we got any C4 plastic explosive?" Big Hoggy nodded " Aye, but we've no got time to set it up anywhere!" CC said "Its going with me, i need webbing , gaffa tape, some wire, and some household fuses, you got all of those?" Big Hoggy nodded "whad'ya need all that for?", CC smiled and said "I'm gonna cure somebodies constipation...permanently!" . As CC worked Sue and Andy came back into the bar..........
...........CC looked up from where he was working and nodded " i wondered about you two, the way you move gives you away, well, you don't need me to give you orders, go get set up out there, and scare the living sh*t out of Hot City's finest when they come" Sue and Andy nodded and with their Katanas over their shoulders, left the bar soundlessly, Big Hoggy looked out the door a split second after they left " they've disappeared, how the f*ck did they do that?", CC looked at him and said "makes you glad they're on our side, doesn't it"...................
...................CC lifted what he was working on, it was now a waistcoat covered in blocks of plastic explosive with wires running from block to block with what looked like silver detonator caps in each one, he turned to Big Hoggy again " I need a lighter or even a lipstick, got either?" TK rummaged in a drawer behind the bar and pulled out several lighters " folk leave them all the time, any of these do?" CC picked one and taped two wires to it, "right now we're ready!" CC put on the waistcoat, he looked like a suicide bomber, everyone looked, a few voices muttered, " are you f*ckin mental or what?" CC laughed "don't worry, it wont work, but if someone else thinks it will, it gives you the advantage!"...............
..............the radio crackled, it was CD, " heads up folks, our visitor's are about 2 minutes away, theres two Hot City Secret Police cars in the lead, 16 patrol cars, and three Riot Squad vans bringing up the rear, and i don't think any of them are bringing Chocolates or Flowers!" CC put his ear piece in "thanks CD, stay edgy, in case they've got some reinforcements in hiding", "Right Folks, we all ready, its party time!!".......................
...............CC threw on a long coat to cover his "bomb vest", he put his radio Mic on, "Penny, Catherine, Rachel, can you hear me OK?", Penny replied "loud and clear", " CC nodded " right girls, when i tell you, take out the three cop cars, just take the engines out, one shot with those rifles, the cars will be scrap!" "Chris,Ted, Jon, can you hear me OK?" Chris replied "Yep". CC smiled "right, when i tell you turn the riot squad vans into Swiss Cheese, wait till they're empty, I'll give you the nod , ok"........
...............CC looked round the bar, the place bristled with all sorts of weaponry, from TKs Tomahawks , Sergeant Fury's M16s, Big Hoggys Shotgun, no Shotguns, his original one seemed to have a twin, Huntvambo with a brace of machine pistols, Chad the Lad and Miss Mayhem and K9 Kev with Automatic pistols, CC looked at all of them and thought to himself "i hope this plan works, a lot of good people could get hurt if it doesn't" CC headed for the door and paused "right, listen up, no heroics, and if it all goes pear shaped, get back here and go through the tunnels" A voice shouted "Wait!, ye'r no going without us are you?", it was Max with Platterpete and Colin McB and Amos, CC asked " where were you?" Max laughed " you were all that busy, we decided to have a few beers and stay out of the way!" this broke the tension, only Sahbsters could settle down for a few beers in the midst of all this stress, as they moved to the door, CC spoke into his Mic "Craigie Dee, hows our situation looking?" " what you've got coming is all you're getting, it looks like there are problems for Hot City's Finest all over the City, I'll keep watching!".............
.........They walked out the door into the street.........
TK and The Sarge
The Maxx
Huntvambo
Big Hoggy
Platterpete
jamnah22
Hannah
Chad the Lad
Miss Mayhem
K9 Kev
Colin McB and Amos
.............CC looked round, where was Helen?, a voice behind him said "I'm here, I thought I'd change for the occasion, since everyone else was"
.......
............they stood in the street, all were armed to the teeth, CC had his pistol he'd borrowed from Catherine, in his belt, he pulled his coat closed, the cop cars screeched round the corner, CC shouted "nobody fire unless they do!", a figure came out of a dark doorway and stood near them facing the Hot City Cops, CC looked a gasped, it was the Man with No Face, he'd come to help them, he looked round and nodded to everyone, and turned to face the approaching cops..........
............they stood in the street, all were armed to the teeth, CC had his pistol he'd borrowed from Catherine, in his belt, he pulled his coat closed, the cop cars screeched round the corner, CC shouted "nobody fire unless they do!", a figure came out of a dark doorway and stood near them facing the Hot City Cops, CC looked a gasped, it was the Man with No Face, he'd come to help them, he looked round and nodded to everyone, and turned to face the approaching cops..........
..............the cops screeched to a halt three cars abreast filling the street edge to edge almost, the Hot City Secret Police, exited their cars weapons drawn, but stayed behind the doors, all the other cops , ran forward from their cars, followed by the Riot Squad, whose vans brought up the rear, they bocked the street at the other end, CC smiled, they were dangerous, but predictable, this might work after all, "THROW DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND PLACE YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD, OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!!" ..................
................the secret policeman bellowed through his loudhailer, CC spoke into his Mic, "right its game on, listen for your cue, no firing till then" CC raised his hands and crossed them in the universal sign of parley and walked slowly forward to the cops....................
...............the sneering Secret Cop stepped forward and raised his weapon "that's far enough, tell your friends to drop their weapons, and they will all go for reeducation, but we want the scientist b*tch, she's in big trouble!" CC started laughing, "I'll tell you what Pig!, call that lady a pregnant dog again and i'll kill you before you can even get a shot off, she's my lady, so I won't warn you again, now, heres how its gonna work You and your men will drop their weapons and if you do , you might survive tonight, so hows that for you Pig!"................
............the cop looked at CC and sneered "you're outnumbered , outgunned, and you are telling me to drop my weapons, I don't think so" CC laughed and threw open his coat, all the cops gasped when they saw the explosive strapped to his chest, CC raised the lighter with the wires on it, to the cops it looked like a trigger, CC looked at the sneering cop, whose face was now devoid of colour, "what was it you were ordering us to do, i don't remember exactly, refresh my memory" the cop looked at him wide eyed and licked his lips nervously "you wouldn't, you would die too" he said quitely, CC laughed maniacally " we've all gotta go sometime, and if i'm going, i get the bonus of taking about 40 of you arseholes with me, so its worth the trade off!, so we were talking about you and your men dropping their weapons, now if i haven't convinced you, heres a wee demonstration of what will happen to those of you that are left after my little firework goes off!"..............
.................CC spoke into his mic "Ladies, show the cop just how much you don't like his cars untidying the street!" ..........
.............KERAAAK!!!, the three shots were almost simultaneous, the three police cars in front desintigrated from the windscreen forward, cops scattered, some raised their weapons as if to fire, and Sue and Andy somersaulted through them flashing swords and firing off Ninja Throwing Stars, as quick as they appeared they disappeared, leaving some extremely nervous cops behind, the Secret Policeman was now looking around for an escape route, CC smiled at him "don't even think about moving Pig, or you'll go the same way as the car" he touched his mic "you got him Penny?" a red laser dot appeared on the cops chest, CC smiled and pointed to it, the cop looked down and whimpered, "so now that i've got your attention, here's the deal, the lady scientist you wanted to silence, well its a waste of time, coz the info she had is now known to most of the folk in Hot City, and its being beamed round the World as we speak, so she will not be harmed, are we in agreement" the cop looked at CC and nodded and said "the information she had could bring down the Government, do you realise what you've done?", CC looked at him and said " Yep, we've cleaned the place up a bit, so tell your men to drop their weapons NOW!".................
..............a few diehard cops shouted "we'd rather go down fighting and racked their weapons, CC nodded and spoke into his mic, "Chris, you guys are up!" the night was split with a sound like million chainsaws, VFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!, it was ear splitting, the Riot Squad Vans were almost obliterated, the next row of Cop Cars blew up one after another from the ricochets from the hail of bullets.............
.............the cops stood up and one by one dropped their weapons , they were beat and they knew it, the Secret Cop looked at CC, he had the look of a man who had looked into Hell and survived, he handed his gun to CC and said "you may have won this battle, but you'll never win the war", CC laughed and said "the war is over, your time is gone now, just listen"..........
.............THUD,THUD THUD.....We Will.........We Will Rock You!!! the cop looked at CC and said "what is it?" CC laughed "that's Queen fans, folks that have listened to the music you and your kind banned, keep listening, "We're ON A Highway To Hell!!" could be heard coming from the other direction, the cop looked at CC "there sounds like there are thousands of them" CC laughed "there are, there always were! ,keep listening Cop, you might learn something!" , there were hundreds of people converging on the street that Buffs Bar was on, ther were music fans of all ages, singing all the anthems from their favourite band or artist, "Smoke on the Water"," Freebird" Stairway to Heaven" Physical (yeah there were some ONJ fans as well) CC looked down at the cop and said " if i were you i'd find another job far away, and real soon!" all the cops bolted, as they did a bright light lit up the sky acompanied by a sound like a thousand yards of silk ripping........... .............as everyone'e eyes cleared after the flash they looked up at the sky.........
VAMBO STILL ROOLS OK!
Well, what happened next, did things get better or worse, well here goes
..............everyone looked at the words in the sky, many had tears in their eyes they knew something spectacular had happened, but many weren't sure exactly what, many said that they seemed to hear a voice in their head accompanied by a throaty chuckle "Good Folks, Good Home Folks!", all the Sahbsters knew the significance of the words and many had a tear in their eye, at that point Big Hoggy and TK said " C'mon the bars open!!"............
.........there followed a party of epic proportion, it was amazing, we all got rides on Craigie Dee's board, the biggest conga you've ever seen went over the top of all the remaining undamaged Cop Cars, all the musicians played/sang till they all passed out, ther was even a wee demonstration of "twirling", but i'm naming no names, you'll have to look up old posts to see who the culprits were.......
..........CC and Helen, well what happened there, CC said nothing, coz a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, suffice to say, Helen had a smile on her face that you couldn't knock off with a shovel for three days, she kept saying "its huge!!", they eventually got married and had three kids (one of each!) , Helen went on to become a World Class Photographer, and CC became a kept man, which suited him fine!...........
...........Big Hoggy and TK opened a franchise of Buffs Bar all over the world, they still work behind the bar sometimes, just you never know whether it'll be Buenos Aries or Airdrie, they travel a lot!..........
.........Penny headed home to Wales, they still had pockets of resistance there, so she rode down on the Harley and took her new rifle with her, she gave Platterpete a lift home as well, its said the Peac*cks don't put a step out of line now, word of their Mistress's marksmanship spreads fast!!.........
..........Lady Catherine returned to Vibrania, to take her rightful place as Lady Mayoress, Rachel and Zal returned there as well....
..........most everyone went back to their normal lives, but with a feeling of freedom to listen to what they wanted....
........the Government fell, President Bono was belted in the face with a guitar and told that the next time he mentions politics, it better be when he is singing "Sunday Bloody Sunday", the pretentious arsehole, Minister Sting was sentenced to 10 hours tantric sex with the sandpaper and Chilli Dildo.....
..........as for the Band, well, they went on to finish writing the Hot City Symphony all 18 tracks of it, when it was released it was said this was SAHB's Dark Side of The Moon, it was a highly successful album, Zal stayed in "retirement" and finished his book, it shot straight into the bestseller list, he took some time to help with the Hot City Symphony, and as the band took to the road, to a full sell out tour, some gigs they do the full Hot City Symphony and now and again a white painted familiar face joins them on stage, coz some of the tracks need two guitars, these are always great nights, full of old fans and new alike, and some of the kids have asked "who's the guy in the striped top, watching and smiling from the side of the stage?", and we all laugh and say "go buy all the early albums and find out!"...............and Peterbarrow woke up and asked "did i miss anything?" THE END